I See In My Dreams

This is a song about a mother's love for her daughter; tragically, the daughter died in March 2003 aged 50. The 85-year-old mother then went blind some six months after her daughter's death. The mother lives alone on Merseyside and has been in the same house for over 68 years.

Originally, she lived there with her parents and then subsequently her husband and young family. Eventually with time, her parents passed away. She continued living there with her husband of over thirty years then he too died, leaving her living alone in the once busy house. She has lived there on her own now for some twenty-nine years, an independent, strong willed and fiercely determined individual. The mother had two children, a son and a daughter, both of whom married and moved out of the area.

The daughter moved south to Reading in 1982 and had a family of her own, one son and one grandson. Visits to Merseyside by the daughter to see her mother were usually every three to six months, plus the special family events such as Christmas, weddings, birthdays, gatherings etc.

However, the contact by telephone was often daily but at least every 2/3 days, so they both had detailed knowledge of each other's feelings, daily lives and developments - a very ordinary but also a very deeply close personal relationship. The song is divided into two parts, Part 1 - I see in my dreams Part 2 - I see you in my dreams This is significant as it describes in the mother's own way what has happened to her since becoming blind and how her world has changed but her feelings have adapted and developed.

Part 1 - I see in my dreams

Going to bed gradually became a joy for her as she discovered that once asleep and dreaming, her world opened up, she could see again but this time it was her world that opened up. A world of purpose vivid clear and in wonderful colour suddenly, she was transformed.

Part 2 - I see you in my dreams

Soon she met up again with her daughter and the bond continued, not in a gushing-feelgood-marshmallow-movie kind of way, but as it always had in that very personal yet very ordinary way. For example the line "those silly things that remind me of you" refers to PG tips pyramid teabags, an ordinary household item, but one that brings the daughter's memory vividly back to the mother. The grief that we all share can at times be heavy and overwhelming but is something you willingly accept "tired of this struggle" refers to moving from a feeling of helplessness and seeming hopelessness at the sadness and loss of it all to being at peace with her daughter in her dreams. A mother and daughter relationship - ordinary people, very special love.